Last year was supposed to be the big change. A transition from a sheltered, small high school to a rowdy, huge college…that was supposed to be the hard part. But to my surprise, I really liked college. I liked the eccentric professors, the insanely large campus, and the freedom. I didn’t go wild; I just enjoyed myself. But now I’m really facing a change. A change in relationships. Nearly all of my high school friends have moved on. I wonder if they even remember my name. I tried to keep in contact with some of them, but jobs, school, and other priorities constantly got in the way. Other relationships I simply let slide, realizing that we were going down different roads and would eventually lose our friendship anyway. But I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t prepared for the sudden feeling of being stranded, lost without a single friend. I used to have somebody I could turn to, people I could go places with.
I realize that I have friends. I just miss the close, shared friendships of a group of girls who all cared about each other. I have my wonderful boyfriend, who IS my best friend. But I miss female companionship and having a group to rely on. Now I’m being forced out on my own. I need to make new bonds, new friendships. And I’ve never been the proactive sort of person. I usually just let things fall together; I have no idea how my earlier friendships even began. But I’m getting better at this whole friendship thing. I’m making more effort on new friendships, instead of clinging to the tattered remains of old ones.
So this is truly a new chapter of my life.
I’m going out on a limb and hoping things turn out okay.