The past few months of job hunting have taken a huge swing at my self-esteem. Honestly, I’m not used to being unwanted. I’m at a college where I know I’m in the top 10% of the class, so I feel pretty safe. While I don’t have the top scholarship, I know that really, I’m on par with many of the people who do. My academics have never been questionable, or even average. But in this “real world” of jobs, where the grade on your transcript doesn’t mean everything, I’m simply average. Or perhaps I’m even sub-par, since I lack both experience and the skill of bullshitting. I find it impossible to pick out some insignificant event in my life and use that situation in an interview to describe how I’d be the perfect candidate for the job. Instead, I’m left with my meager life experiences which amount to almost nothing.
I simply want to be wanted, but apparently, my unique set of talents are not the kind of talents the job world wants. I fail miserably at interviews, lacking the interpersonal skills to communicate effectively. I’m becoming a little jaded; perhaps I’m throwing myself a pity party. I just wish my words would come out of my mouth sometimes, instead of just my fingertips.