I like lists. I like bullet points and organization. While this might not be apparent if you’ve ever seen my room, I need to have a sense of order in my life. I have to know what lies ahead; I must be prepared. Unfortunately, the road to graduate school is a dark and scary one, like one of those VERY country roads where apparently it’s just to inconvenient to alleviate the inundating bleakness.
I can’t decide which part of the country to look at, much less what school to actually attend. Many factors all have to be considered, and finances is definitely a big part of that. While I know UK is a safe bet, I would rather attend a university with a stronger reputation for Speech-Language Pathology. Unfortunately, these universities are either far away (University of Texas at Austin) or incredibly expensive and competitive (Vanderbilt). I’m about to give up on the Vanderbilt dream and stick within a safer range. I know my scores will be competitive at most universities, but scholarship/assistantship money is a big deal. And when it comes to grad school, I’m just average. I don’t have a pimped out resumé with hundreds of hours of volunteering plus years of work experience in the field. I’m not in dozens of student organizations. Academically, I’m pretty much set. But when it comes to extracurriculars, I’m sadly lacking.
And then there’s the nasty three letter word. Or acronym, rather. The GRE. The ACT and the SAT freaked me out in high school, but that was nothing compared to how nervous I get just thinking about the GRE. I haven’t had a legitimate math class in over two years at this point. How am I supposed to spit out high school algebra and geometry on a standardized test? I need to study NOW. Except the immediacy of my classes keeps me from having a substantial amount of time to devote to a test in the indeterminate future.
Perhaps I need to learn how to relax a bit and just let events happen as they happen. Stop trying to detail my life in a bullet point list. Maybe I don’t need to be completely prepared; maybe I don’t need to know how everything will turn out.