Childhood

I thought we were two puzzle pieces that completed each other. But then I found out that we weren’t even puzzle pieces. I was trying to play house, and he was playing monopoly. Somehow we lost ourselves in the game and forgot what really mattered. Expectations, hopes, and ambition all got scrambled until someone’s heart got broken. I feel just like I did when I asked my neighbors across the street if they wanted to come out and play, but they said they were busy, and then I saw them have other friends over. The girls laughed and played without me, and I just couldn’t understand why they wanted to leave me out. People don’t do mean things on purpose, do they? Why would someone ever want to hurt someone else?

I don’t want to be an adult. I don’t want to be the bigger person. But I refuse to cave in under the pressure. I’m way too much of a perfectionist to slide. So instead, I worked out today. Twice. I only ate one snickers. And I’m going to get my graduate school applications in, and I’m going to make my life so much better now that it ever would have been before. I’m going to be happy with myself and figure out just who I want to be, and I’m not settling for less than what I deserve.

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