It took me hours to decide on a username for online dating. I didn’t want it connected to any of my social media accounts, and I didn’t want it to be super lame either. After hours (days, really) of debate, I still couldn’t come up with a good one. So finally I just picked something and went with it. I don’t feel like sharing at the moment, maybe later when I’m not still fully embarrassed by the whole situation.
Then I had to fill out this profile. OkCupid has a fairly extensive profile page, but I have no experience with other dating websites to be able to make a comparison. There are essays to fill out as well as basic information. It starts out with a self-summary. I went to this last because other sections ask for more specific details. The second section asks what you’re doing with your life. Since I’m in graduate school, this one was quick and simple.
The third section starts out with “I’m really good at.” Oh dear. I have to brag about myself? What is this nonsense? Everything comes across as hollow and/or stupid. I’m not good at anything someone else isn’t significantly better at. I’m 22 for goodness’ sake! Cut me some slack! This is too much. So I say something about being a good listener, friend, whatever. Because hey, I have been told I’m easy to talk to.
The next section is “The first thing people notice about me.” Um. What? How should I know? Most of the time, I don’t get noticed. I’m a wallflower. I mean, HELLO. I’m on a DATING WEBSITE. Doesn’t that say enough? So I make a snarky comment about being overlooked because of my height and mention that I have a fairly distinctive laugh.
After that comes the list of favorites. Which, surprisingly enough, generated a HUGE amount of messages from potentials. I never thought my interest in fantasy series (television and books) would draw so much attention to myself. Bring it on, fellow nerds. Really though, this sort of stuff is extremely superficial. If the only thing I have in common with someone is that we both watch Game of Thrones, what’s the point? While the plot is pretty intense, it’s not enough to base a relationship on.
The next three sections are pretty silly. Six things you couldn’t live without, what you do on a typical Friday night, and the most private thing you’re willing to admit. My answers were so lame I don’t even feel like sharing. Some people can be really creative and entertaining with these sections, but I can’t try to be funny. It comes across as stupid, and I can’t pull it off in real conversation.
Finally, there’s the whole “you should message me if…” box. This one was a toughie. I ended up putting in a disclaimer saying I would only answer a real, interesting message with decent grammar. While I probably come across sounding like a snob, I was getting too many messages to keep up with. And there’s no way to have a conversation based off of “how u doin.” So I thought I could at least spark some interest and maybe get people to try a little harder if they really wanted my attention.
That profile took a few hours to write, and I still tweak things here and there.